Mr. Lindsey

Heyo. I would like to think that I’m a fairly open minded person and that I couldn’t give a rats less if someone mistakes me for a male for some reason or another. It’s cool, I have short hair, I see how you could be confused. But I also have boobs, and they’re not that small. For the record, I identify with the female gender and I am prepared to identify with it as long as I am in this particular life, maybe next time around I’ll try on the guy pants.

All this said and done, I would like to show you this picture. That is a giant page of return addresses from the Paralyzed Veterans of America Association. I understand that their work is very important and that they need all the help they can get. This sheet is sent out in the mail in order to guilt convince people to support their cause and donate money. I’m all for this, good for them.

First, I would like to point out how many there are on this sheet. Most organization send about 10 return address labels, to entice you. Not PVAA. Noooo, they sent 98 labels. Each is “embossed” in shiny gold and has a picture of one of several items. A bear, an eagle, a wolf, the American flag, a duck, the letter ‘S’, or a 2011 with stars around it. They are sooooo pretty. I mean, anytime I send out mail, I think to myself, “Hot damn, I am glad I have this duck here to remind people of me, cause I’m a duck person.” A few of them have fishing lures on them, as well as the eagle. Nice.

However, what I find most amusing about these labels can be seen in the close up photo. Mr. Lindsey Jordan Strain. I have 98 labels that say, Mr. Lindsey Jordan Strain. One would think, that if one was going to solicit people for money, one would go as far as to try to pick the proper gender. Don’t get me wrong, I find this hilarious and you can bet your sweet bippy I’m going to use these things.

But damn, they’re ugly. I guess my name is slightly gender neutral, Lindsey used to be a guy’s name and it’s spelled in the “male” fashion. Jordan is gender neutral as well. And I did talk The Husband into taking my last name, so I can see how the confusion may have originated. Gawd, look at the bear. It looks like it’s got the full body itching herp and hasn’t been able to stop.
Dear PVAA, please do not send me anymore of these things. I will never pay you for them.

On another note, it’s been brought to my attention that I haven’t been following through with some of my stories. Where the Husband was sick; he is now well. It appears that he and every other person that attended a certain happy hour at a certain bar (COUGH HACK MY BROTHER’S PLACE HACK) came down with a case of food poisoning and spent most of the weekend and the first half of the week rejecting everything their stomach came in contact with.
As for my toe, well, it continues to be weird. I am placing my bets on some sort of never-ending blister which shall plague me for all of eternity. Or as least as long as women continue to torture themselves with pointy shoes and heels. So, yes, eternity.

One last reminder: if you haven’t done this then I demand that it be done as quickly as possible! Please check out my Tominda’s new book release and consider supporting her work by buying a book or e-book! They can be bought at her webage or at Amazon.com. Check it out! I appreciate it!

Cheers!

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