Fight the Good Fight

Zits. Pimples. Whiteheads. Pimple. Pustule. Acne. Since puberty, almost everyone gets zits. In particular, you’d get zits on the side of your chin (right side, to be specific) below your mouth – reoccurring like a volcanic island chain. The embarrassing spots on your face will subside for a few weeks and then boom! They’re back and they’re making you uncomfortable with going out in public! What can start as tiny little dots so quickly explode into a mess that never seems to go away. Don’t pick! everyone says. Oh sure, you’ll just let that white head grow and feel everyone staring at it throughout the day. It’s not like you can cover it up, unless you want to wear a band-aid over it. So you pick it, you can’t help it, we understand. You pop that little shit like a you’d pop a grape and oh, victory.

But then it bleeds. And gets red. And before you know it, you look possibly worse. So you spend every night putting Neosporin on it, in the attempt to help it heal faster – but no, you didn’t get all the whitehead, so it comes back a little. The process of extracting the gunk from your face happens again, and this time, you don’t stop squeezing until you have little dents in your face from your nails. Yeah, beat that, zit army. Your hormone driven rage is nothing against the years of practice I have had against your kind. Possibly, your face goes into remission, but you’ve probably scarred yourself in the process. So you keep using the Neosporin, or perhaps straight up Vitamin E oil, to help reduce the darker areas.

While you mostly feel pretty good about your face, there is also the nagging knowledge that some day your enemies are coming back for you. So you wander around the skin care aisles and look at new products and wind up accumulating a plethora of things you may or may not use and may or may not work. You read beauty blogs and send your best friends neat “best of” drug store makeup and facial cleanser lists.  And eventually you lose your damn mind and ask for a Clarisonic Mia 2 for Christmas. And you get it, because your family is amazing, and you try it and YOU LOVE IT. YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH. But, as advertised, “Transient acne is a potential side effect for first-time Clarisonic users. The stimulation of the skin can cause bacteria to rise to the surface in the form of a pimple…scale back your use to once a day, but keep with it. Things should clear up after about two weeks of continual use.” BEHOLD. The acne cometh.

But you’re trying to more of an adult about these things and stop picking at those spots (please see above) so you use one of the many products you’ve picked up since you discovered Ulta and Beauty Blogs (once again, reference above). You use a drying solution – that very much resembles calamine lotion (if you’ve ever had poison ivy, you know what I reference) and you slather that on the effected area of your face. But not before you’ve Clarisoniced your face with your preferred face wash, used a makeup wipe to get rid of the last remnants of your mascara, moisturized with an anti-aging night cream, put on your anti-aging eye cream, and possibly put any Vitamin E oil/Neosporin to any other healing places. It takes forever.

You know it takes forever. But your vanity begs you to find a way to stop the oncoming horde. Anything to get rid of that teenaged angst, forever, if possible. And preserve your skin for as long as you can. So really, you’re combating both your youth and your oncoming age at the same time. You’re fighting for stasis.  Good luck, and godspeed.

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No. No you can’t.

 

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3 comments

  1. Haha!! This is hilarious. I’ve never had problem skin until I was pregnant with my 3rd. Now, I use Rodan + Fields to ward off the zits. It works, thank goodness, since I’m a picker! Eewwwww. So gross.

  2. While it’s a subject usually confined to the recesses of a bathroom or a girl’s movie-night-on-the-couch, you’ve pretty well nailed it. Good to know you’re using the Mia – you’re welcome. One question: Have you tried Windex?

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